DISLIKE

😞

Have you known someone who absolutely  finds you annoying on almost  every level? Someone  that gives you looks that could kill? Sensed  their aura oozing with distain for you and the things you do ? And Even when you try to  ignore that someone,thier over dramatic  stares,   heavy brethes  you can feel them inside somewhere deeply even without knowing? What if that someone were a  Family member,someone close someone who's DNA you share?  

I know someone like this.

And... today  it's too much to bear.in fact each day that goes by my ability to be strong and brave diminishes  and I become weaker and weaker.succumbing to the  quick  reliable pain  relief coping mechanism  which I've created  for myslef for the last 15 years. What I suffer from isn't simply and eating disorder..it's a full blown case of self hatred self punishment and  self neglect.  It has become extremely and has become so much a part of my habits and normal daily activities  that it really requires  deep thoughthe to recognize  that they are not normal, nor are they they way my hevan ly father created my brain to think. I need to chew  on this for the nigjt..with some prayer and hope that tommorow  I will be able to bear the burden once more.